Pink with a Purpose!: Last Blog for "2011" This is only a test!!!

Pink with a Purpose!: Last Blog for "2011" This is only a test!!!: So we're entering the year of 2012, and for the next weeks to come we will wish many family members, friends, co-workers, even strangers a "...

Last Blog for "2011" This is only a test!!!

So we're entering the year of 2012, and for the next weeks to come we will wish many family members, friends, co-workers, even strangers a "Happy New Year". If you truly mean what you say, and say what you mean this is what we really hope & wish for each other. Then Life speaks aloud..This is a test, this is only a test, I repeat this is only a test. How many of us recall that moment when that voice over would repeat interrupting the Sixers game when Doc could miss or make the shot with 3 seconds left, or during your favorite soap when she was about to say yes or no. Many of us shouted profanity in the air, threw something at the tv screen, or walked out the room furious! It was at that moment during your tantrum when the picture became clearer again, & you were able to see the replay of the shot which was good, and the smiles & tears as the two prepare for their wedding.

Isn't life the same? Just shy of two years having graduated nursing school, working full-time, loving everything about my job, well off financially, planning to make some moves, and unexpectedly it rains right in the middle of my picnic. There goes that loud annoying sound disrupting my favorite tv show. That day on August 5th receiving that news from the Doctor of having breast cancer I could have finished my day at work with anger inside, came home & lashed out against my family, or broke some furniture. But I didn't! You see, just like the broadcastor on TV that repeats not once but three times this is only a test, God too alarmed me. So if it's only a test I can choose to study, gain knowledge & wisdom and pass, or I could have had a pity party, accept defeat & failed. I chose to pass this test and activate that faith that lives within.

I remember at the age of 4 just a month before turning 5 years old sitting in my mother's room on her bed. The voice of the Lord spoke to me & told me I would have a sister & to tell my mother to name her Karita. I quickly told my mother, and she accepted the news with a smile. Later on while being cared for by my grandmother she received a call from the Doctor. Even today at the age of thirty six I remember like it was yesterday the way my grandmother looked at me on August 9, 1980. My grandmother sadness spoke through her eyes before she spoke the words, "Nickia your mother had a baby boy." I looked at my grandmom that day politely telling her she was wrong and so were the Doctors. Not that I knew then but that was a test! I was forced to believe the words that came out of her mouth, and why wouldn't I? Clearly someone who loves you wouldn't tell you a lie, or want to see you hurt. I was just 4 years old so I was expected surely to believe in the man who was there & delivered the baby right? Even at that young age I walked in faith without the acknowledgment of it. I never doubted, never gave in, and never threw a tantrum. When my mother came home that birth record read Karita Mills 4 1bs 6oz, and it didn't matter to me why the confusion, or what actually happened. I believed what I believed.

So today, I am forced to believe the possibility of this & that, but once again I know what God told me. In today's economy I am to understand the meaning of recession, but I still can't find that word in the dictionary. This is who I am, this is the make of me. Trust me I cry when you cry, but after the cleansing I wipe the tears and offer up a Praise! So I say to you & you have a HAPPY NEW YEAR IN 2012! If you or someone you know just happen to be watching your favorite show, and suddenly that unexpected interruption takes place, just maybe it wasn't heard when the man spoke the words this is a test...so I REPEAT IT IS ONLY A TEST.....

                                                            

Choices...

Every day we are put in position to make a choice. When first waking up God gives you a choice to thank & praise him. He doesn't wait on us. Jesus said in Luke 19:40 "I tell you, if these become silent, the stones will cry out! However he gives us that choice, with much like everything, and it depends on what we do with that form of power. I accept the Power & Authority God has given me in all that I'm going through. I chose to accept healing before seeing a Physician. I chose to accept a right state of mind before depression could interfere. I choose to give when so much is being taken from me. I choose to eat even when I feel like I can't. I choose to push myself even though its easier to give in.

So they say I may lose my hair, now let me explain a little about myself before we go any further about the hair.

I'm "36"  and never would I allow scissors to the hair, it is my glory! Love being pampered at the salons but would avoid them because of the "trim talk." What! Girl leave them split ends alone, if they meant to split then they will. I got something to work around all that, I would say. Wash & condition my hair braid it down and I have curls that lasts until the next wash. If I want to explore then that's what Remi is For:) and that's the make of me when it comes to the hair.

So what you talking? I can lose it all? In a matter of weeks after the first treatment you say? My, my so my Circumstance put me in position to make a Choice so I decided to Celebrate! I made the Choice to have a "Lose the Hair Party" I had a Blast! My mother, sister & girlfriend were there & we had veggie pizzas by choice, ginger ale sodas by choice, and Blasted INDIE ARIE' "I am Not My Hair" by Choice! As the scissors continue cutting, the cameras continue flashing, and the smiles didn't stop by choice! So whatever it is you may be up against make the Choice to Trust God & nothing more....Smile because I am!                               

 

                                       

With Sincerity..

This blog is dedicated to all those at Artman Lutheran Home....One of the things I loved most about working at Artman was the unity that was expressed, the smiles that were returned, and the open arms of so many there. First, let me say I am so appreciative of the continuous reports I hear daily from my sister.  Each day she tells me that this person said "hello", and this person said "hang in there" I can envision the many smiling faces of those that express their concern.

When my sister presented me with the gift of the pink hand made prayer shawl I handled it as carefully as you would a newborn. I thought to myself how grateful I am that someone took time out and made this specifically with me in mind. Even to this day I delicately leave it beside my bed so that I may use it in the morning.

Let it be known that on this day the 23rd of November I will never forget the gift that all of you have given me with the Pink Scrapbook. I am in complete "awe" there are no words to fully describe my gratitude. On this Friday I will be undergoing my first treatment.  Even though I know this too shall pass I'm human so I'm allowed to cry. I'm a sister, a daughter, a wife, a mother so naturally I think of them. But you all thought of me and indeed in a great way. I cannot even explain what this has done for me reading so many words of encouragement, uplifting notes, and soft spoken thoughts.

My husband sat beside me as I read each page rubbing my back trying to help me get through the tearful reading of every thoughtful word. You have deposited courage, strength, and reminded me of how God sees me. I am so thankful for you! I can do this!  I've always carried a quiet nature and particularly addressed those with my smile, but never did I realize how much of an impact my presence had on people. I wish I could literally hug each of you to express how much your thoughts mean to me. I love each & every one of you and with my prayer shawl I will continue to excuse myself in praying for you.

With Sincerity I Thank You....I Thank You!

                                                               

I See You....

I see you walking but who's in the lead?
Watch what you say about me
Because your oblivious to your future needs
Not that I will pacify your pleads, or ignore the sight of you on your knees
But while your now asking Please, I've been waiting of thee
So watch what you say about me
I am a Jealous God this is true
But remember there is no one I love more than you!
So what about you?
Can you turn away from whatever that thing is tonight?
Can you order a drink minus the substance that has you feeling "nice"?
Can you flush the pills down the toilet, toss the cigs in the trash without telling yourself
"This one though is my last"
Can you speak of a loving tongue with the absence of profanity yes even the minor ones
Can you turn away from that married man, stop scheming with your plan, and you with the
multiple cell phones because you claim "He just don't understand"
You swear you slick at your game, because on you it has yet to rain
But the word declares I have called you by name
So be attentive & listen! Matter of fact go the extra mile, Pay Attention!
If I chose you you're chosen to be set apart, yes even when it seems too hard
I know, I know this may be too difficult for you
It's easier in the sight of others & do what they do
This walk ain't easy truly only the strong survives
But didn't they tell you? I didn't die I'm Alive!
So with me you can Do! Pass beyond "I Tried"
And for you, I hope you didn't think because your able to see that it is because of your two eyes or even perhaps your assistive devices maybe... because it is even those things I cause to be
I am the breath that gives you life, I am the keeper that covers you at night
I am the one who starts and the one who ends..I have been the one trying to pull you out of sin
So watch what you say about me
You cannot even come close to what I'm capable of
So I kindly suggest you respond in Love
I hope you come to feel, know, and See Who I Am
Because I See You girl, boy, woman and man....I See You

Pink with a Purpose!: EVEN IF...

Pink with a Purpose!: EVEN IF...: Each time I write in this blog my hope is that it reaches someone that needs uplifting & encouragement. My hope is that it reaches someone n...

EVEN IF...

Each time I write in this blog my hope is that it reaches someone that needs uplifting & encouragement. My hope is that it reaches someone new that can share with someone else. With this blog particularly I fell on my face before the Lord asking for guidance and a specific message to reach that specific person. In order to hear from the Lord you must quiet yourself, turn the tv off, as well as the cell, and sit patiently until your led to open to that particular scripture and hear what the spirit of the Lord has to say. In doing so, this is what he said:

So there she is alone in the exam room kicking herself because she waited so long, and now it may be to late she believes. There she is hating herself for excusing her morals to satisfy the needs of lustful thoughts. There he is dismissing the need for a relationship with God convincing himself that the relationships with his women are more than enough. There he is with his head hung low carrying the shameful past of his forefathers. In Isaiah 43:1 it says Fear not, for I have redeemed you..Redeemed is to be free from what distresses or harms, so whatever has caused you harm or distress he has made you free. It goes on to say I have called you by your name; you are mine. God blesses the just as well as the unjust and he says I called You by Your name, Yes You, the one who have said/done something once so hurtful that you dare not tell. Yes you! Isn't it awesome that God doesn't dismiss anyone.

Life gets rough it seems at times unfair and just when we think the one thing is over here comes that other thing. However, in verse 2 it says EVEN IF you pass through the waters I will be with you. EVEN IF the waters pass through like the rivers, they shall not overflow you.  EVEN IF there is a rage of fire, you shall not be burned, nor shall the flame scorch you. He says For I am the Lord your God, before me there was no God formed, nor shall there be after me. In vs.13 it says Indeed before the day was, I am He; That means to me before this diagnosis He was, before your circumstance he was, and long after He will still be.

Further down to vs.18 it says specifically Do Not Remember the Former things, nor consider the things of old. What! So this means EVEN IF  the things I should have done but didn't do, or EVEN IF the things I shouldn't have done, and did, I don't have to stress about? He says Behold I will do a new thing, now it shall spring forth; and then he asks us a question. Shall you not know it? I love when scripture puts us in position to answer, because we have no answers, so it's really appointed to put us in check! Going back to vs.13 it says And there is no one who can deliver out of my hand; I work, and who will reverse it? That tells me EVEN IF the report shows Stage I,II,III, or IV, EVEN IF the paperwork states Denied, EVEN IF the Employer says not qualified, EVEN IF I have to cry some tears, EVEN IF I have to grieve some losses, EVEN IF I have to regain new strength, EVEN IF I fall I will soon Rise Above It All! Because God says I'm at work, and who will Reverse it? Now you can try if you want to and answer that.

There are Facts this is true, but then there is Faith, and that's what I have, and you sure better have! This specific message was for a specific person not sure if it's you but I presume EVEN IF you took the time to read this, then there's another question answered.
They colored me pink yall, but please know it's for a purpose....Keep smiling because I Do:)

EVEN IF_______ AND WHATEVER FILLS THAT BLANK REMEMBER GOD LOVES YOU....

                                                                            

Pink with a Purpose!: The Preparation...

Pink with a Purpose!: The Preparation...: Philippians 4:6-7 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made...

The Preparation...

Philippians 4:6-7 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Just as a trainer prepares his fighter for his opponent, God has prepared me for the fight of my life. When you don't take time out for God you miss out on what he needs you to know, or do. I recall the morning when the Lord spoke to my heart whispering into my spirit, "Nickia, be in preparation for greatness, but in the mist you must carry the cross." I remember becoming uneasy about what that could mean. Excited about what greatness could be, but not willing so to speak to take on the heaviness of that cross. I cried out, Lord why? I couldn't deny what I was feeling for he already knows my heart. Then the still voice said, "I never said I sent YOU to the front line." Whoa! That spoke to me, awakening that dead thing within me preparing me for whatever was ahead.

Later that night the excitement was still fresh & alive! I told my children what we need to do, but explaining to them carrying the cross could mean anything, and the attack we may face we shall not fear. Not long after that I felt the lump in my breast and soon received that phone call which I will never forget. I was at work when I received the call and had about 7 hours left. God had already prepared my heart & mind which prepared me to finish out my day, caring for those who weren't able to care for themselves with a smile on my face, and gentleness in my touch. I quietly told God "well here we go, and we got work to do". My part is easier than I thought, I just have to follow. I'm just needed to play the back-round. He's a thousand steps ahead of me, he's already cleared the way. God made it clear to me that he doesn't need ME on home-front. Just read your word, stay on your knees, thank me through it, and stand on my promises.

On those not so good days, when we tend to forget holding our head down as if we don't know, just like the trainer encourages his fighter in the corner of the ring, you and I may find ourselves balled up in the corner of our bedroom. But God whispers "keep your head up, your almost there, you can do it, just trust me, I'll never leave you, nor forsake you". As the trainer watches the tapes of his opponent studying his every move, God has shown me that my competition has already been defeated.

However, there's rules to this battle. I must never lose sight of what's in front of me. I must never feel as if I am strong enough to stand alone, because my strength comes from the bread of Life. I don't have to worry about getting weak, because God said his grace is made sufficient for me, his power is made perfect in my weakness. The bell rang! They said what's about to hit me can take me out for the count. Then God said, but I said No Weapon Formed Against You Shall Prosper. But Lord I heard his people in the corner talking smack, telling me I better brace myself because I may lose some things that I hold dear. Then God said, I will bless your latter end more than your beginning. God restores all! Finally, it is my duty to tell the people of God's goodness even before my storm is over, that's the kind of faith I have, and this is what he expects of us all. I'm able to breathe when I steal away time with the Lord. I can function, I can write in this blog, I'm nothing without Christ, just dust, but with him I'm more than a conqueror, I'm victorious,and I'm Prepared!

Pink with a Purpose!: Waffles & Ice Cream

Pink with a Purpose!: Waffles & Ice Cream: Okay for those of you that really know me, know that certain comforts of mine come from certain foods. I love to eat! Most of us do, an...

Waffles & Ice Cream

Okay for those of you that really know me, know that certain comforts of mine come from certain foods. I love to eat! Most of us do, and I don't indulge in a way that causes me to get sick, and I wouldn't call myself an emotional eater, in fact I'm the opposite, but there is a great sense of relaxation in certain foods. In my high school years attending Dobbins AVTS "93" I thought I might add(smile) I used to have to stay with my best friend, and that was Grandmom for others Mrs. Young. It brings a smile to my face whenever I mention her, followed by tears of joy for having the chance to even know her. Anybody that really knew me then had to know of Mrs. Young. If you didn't come to know who I adored & loved, then we probably weren't as close as we shoulda or coulda been. Mrs. Young was like Sunoco gas station I came to her to refuel for the wisdom, knowledge, and faith she would instill in me. I came to understanding love, humbleness, and patience knowing her. Before leaving school throughout the week she would make sure she was stocked on the ice cream & waffles. Why? Because it was my favorite! She would wake me up in the morning never needing an alarm clock, and tell me it's waffles & ice cream downstairs, and I got you up in time enough to have it. I used to sit in the kitchen daily enjoying every spoonful of warmness combined with coolness as it was easily digested thinking of why I loved her.  I thought about how loving she was, how comforting she was, how peaceful she was. Grandmom spoke with her smile, you felt her sincere concern for you without her mentioning it. She would ask me sometimes what's the latest thing out? So I can make sure you have it, when I get my social security check next month. Or what you want me to buy when I go food shopping this week? I would say Grandmom just waffles & ice cream. She would say you love that huh? It wasn't the most nutritional thing for your morning, but mentally it was the healthiest thing for me. On Nov.13, 1998 I remember shopping out in the Northeast section and receiving a call stating she was close to taking her last breath. I pulled in the parking lot, turned my car off and quietly said a prayer. Lord I'm asking that you please give me the chance to be at her side as she take that last breath, please Amen. So driving from Bustleton ave to 20th & Cambria was like driving from Tarboro NC to the city of Philadelphia. However, when I arrived without hesitation I proceeded up stairs and there she was lying in bed and still breathing. Thank you Lord I said as I began to get in the bed next to her, and I rested my head upon her chest. I told her I understand why your trying to hold on but all will be well. Guess what? Remember you told me despite what they said I would get the house, well I'm due to make settlement. Don't worry your plans with your home will follow through, and your requests will be well respected. At that point a song by Kirk Franklin came to mind "The storm is over now" so that's what I began to sing, and before the song was over I heard a loud gasp for air which was her last.  As I looked up into her face I closed her eyes, and began to think how am I going to make it? I knew I had to do that for her, to offer that assurance that all would be well, but seriously that would be the only lie I ever told her. It's not possible I thought, none of this makes any sense. I can't even began to explain how difficult it was for me to grieve properly. I made up in my mind I would never go down that block again, I didn't know if I could handle if someone rearranged her porch furniture, or color on her brick stone front. I recall a friend of mine told me at that time maybe instead of avoiding it one day you need to just get one of her favorite things to eat & sit on the bottom of her steps and face it. I couldn't even imagine that and to be honest I never did it. Now at this time of my life facing what I'm facing I don't need another Doctor appointment but an appointment with Mrs. Young, not literally(smile). So how can I refuel at the gas station that no longer exist? Well, I popped two buttermilk blueberry waffles in the toaster, and topped it with ice cream....Thankful for having known you....Mrs. Young your spirit lives within me, I hear you, and I know...Believe God, I got you:)

                                                        

Pink with a Purpose!: She's At Peace....

Pink with a Purpose!: She's At Peace....: Phillipians 4:7And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. I've always und...

She's At Peace....

Phillipians 4:7And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

I've always understood that scripture but never had an understanding for myself personally. Until now. It's amazing as I look back over the years I always wanted to do something to change some part of me. After birthing two children, one of each sex, what a blessing, and without complications with myself or my babies, an even greater blessing. I always wanted to do what's right for the sake of others which included my children. Doctors advised I breast feed versus formula for a host of reasons so without question that's what I did. It didn't matter if it was comfortable for me or not for this pain will be endured because of. It didn't matter if I loss the firm purky shape of my breast because it is no longer about me. But! After all that was said & done you look in the mirror and decide hummm.... I can do some things to change this & that and OMG why are they like that? I would be so much happier if! I remember spending crazy money on products that could possibly rid me of the stretch marks until I realized these stretch marks represent what I did right as a carrying mother. For every soda I refused to drink, and every vitamin, veggies, dairy, water I continued to consume caused my unborn to grow healthy as expected month to month. With the growth caused the stretching of the skin, so as I look at my two I realize it's all good, took one for the team:) However, I remember not being able to see pass those breasts of mine. It's funny because at one point I even got approved for  financing a procedure called mastopexy which basically uplifts, and firms. I was so excited and so ready to pay this $50 a month for 36 months until my Aunt which quietly listened in on my plans shut it down! She said Girl don't you finance with that company you better work out! What! I want results Now! That's what I thought, but instead I listened to her advice, and so glad that I did. Who knew no one but the Lord, that unnecessary money would have been invested at the age of 22.  At the age of 35 I would take on a procedure that I won't have to pay monthly for nor will I be considering it for cosmetic purposes. One of my best friends told me don't worry they served there purpose, which was breast feeding my children. How true! I'm more than thankful for that. I once wanted something to look & feel better about myself, not knowing I would later need that something in order to live. I'm so glad that even at that young age I didn't choose to rebel, and learned how to accept myself & love me. No doubt I had to go through all that in order to have something to reflect back on to be where I am today. Where is that you ask? At peace.....               

                                                                              

Pink with a Purpose!: What Shall Take Your Praise Away?

Pink with a Purpose!: What Shall Take Your Praise Away?: As strong as I appear, and as faithful as I am determined to be, I am still human. The human side of me falls apart at times, and cries alo...

Pink with a Purpose!: Lord take Cover! I'm Going In!

Pink with a Purpose!: Lord take Cover! I'm Going In!: Okay so tomorrow will be my last day at work for some time into the new year. Monday marks the day of a second surgery as I enter into prepa...

Pink with a Purpose!: Wrong Diagnosis!

Pink with a Purpose!: Wrong Diagnosis!: Who is Nickia? On 8/17/2011, I was told Nickia your genetic testing shows a mutation to BRCA1 which explains the reason why you wer...

Pink with a Purpose!: Pink with a Purpose!: Let It Rain!!

Pink with a Purpose!: Pink with a Purpose!: Let It Rain!!: Pink with a Purpose!: Let It Rain!!

Pink with a Purpose!: Just take the step...

Pink with a Purpose!: Just take the step...: If you step into the unknown God says he has the power to do the impossible! So let's define unknown. ( not within the range of one's ...

Pink with a Purpose!: When the season Change

Pink with a Purpose!: When the season Change: We as women go through many changes in life but the real change happens when one does not see her issue as her issue, when he does not see h...

When the season Change

We as women go through many changes in life but the real change happens when one does not see her issue as her issue, when he does not see her concern as her concern. We are stronger as one, we are better as one, let's become one....Please enjoy......

Just take the step...

If you step into the unknown God says he has the power to do the impossible! So let's define unknown. (not within the range of one's knowledge, experience, or understanding; strange; unfamiliar)We know what the impossible defines but let's define Possible. (existing, taking place, or proving to be true) I'm not sure what your unknown to you may be. It may be knowing you can sing, but to afraid to open your mouth. It may be knowing deep down you could be a good nurse, but fear prevents you from taking that entrance exam. It may be knowing, you can for sure write & direct films but somehow you only start the script. It may be anything you desire, but somehow you're convinced that age really does matter. My unknown is not solely wrapped up in this diagnosis of breast cancer, but also the ability to be a first time author, screenplay/film writer, songwriter, etc., I've never had cancer before to be honest I was considered an absolute well adult every year. Not a tad bit of high blood pressure, glucose, or cholesterol. So now I'm introduced to something that will have to enter this body of mine that may possibly cause me to be sick. huh? But God says didn't I tell you I have the Power to do the Impossible! I have no reason to doubt him. The Doctors told me my stage of breast cancer is 1, but the grade of the tumor was 3. This basically means caught early, but aggressive tumor. I remember before the tumor was removed, I would say daily to God "I don't know how aggressive this tumor is, but God I trust that you will keep it from spreading" So after surgery the Surgeon said Nickia, the grade of your tumor is at a level that concerns me, but somehow it stayed localized. I said that to say it doesn't matter what may be ahead during this course of mine, God has already shown me what he's capable of! I serve a God that can do the same for you! So where my Fearless, Courageous, Go-Getters At? If I can step out to the unfamiliar with no experience, or clear understanding then you can certainly step out and know that your possibility can exist, can take place, and prove to be true. What you waiting for? Just take the step...

Pink with a Purpose!: Let It Rain!!

Pink with a Purpose!: Let It Rain!!

Let It Rain!!

This season I am in, it seems to most that I am in the middle of a true storm..yes this may be true, BUT this storm I welcome with open arms! I don't need an umbrella but thanks for your kindness. I don't need a place of shelter but thanks for your concern. This storm I don't mind standing in the middle of with my arms stretched wide, and my face looking up towards the heavens..I'm not worried about my outfit getting drenched because it can be replaced. Guess what sistas! I ain't even worried about my hair getting wet, because soon I may not have none, if I may say. Bottomline I'm okay walking through this storm day by day, and step by step. The rain you may see as tormenting, I see as uplifting! The rain you may feel is cold by the touch, hits me with such warmness with every drop..Because in every drop of rain upon my body there is a splash of hope, peace, love, joy, strength, comfort, need I go on? I think yall got it...Welcome the Rain! Don't Run from it! I can't even swim but this I don't mind drowning in...They colored me Pink but tell them don't forget but With Purpose!

We Speak Life!

In Proverbs 18:21 it says Death and life are in the power of the tongue..

On October 22, 2011 an old high school buddy of mine by the name of Mr. James Culmer will be putting on a Benefit Show for Cancer Awareness with the Headline Theme  "We Speak Life" in honor of myself as well as something very personal to him. Honestly I am in total awe of his kind, sincere efforts to express his talents, as well as those he has lined up for that afternoon.

"We Speak Life" So as long as God allows me the strength I will be there before the doors open this coming Saturday so You Too Come out and be Inspired! Encouraged! & Just enjoy Good people, Laughs and Fun.

@Journey of Faith Church 6340 Baynton St. 10/22/11 from 2pm-5pm See You There!!

 

Wrong Diagnosis!

Who is Nickia?

      On 8/17/2011, I was told Nickia your genetic testing shows a mutation to BRCA1 which explains the reason why you were diagnosed with Breast cancer at such a young age. The Geneologist went on to say, see as we look here at your family tree, understand that Men are mainly the carriers, but the trait could have been passed on from either side, so who do you think this has passed on from? Huh? Though she was completely professional in how she explained everything, and with sincerity, her questions, and explanations were like a mere blur of mumbling words in my mind.
       We ended our session with her saying but Nickia, you are like a hero! Now because of you, your family now knows genetically what's in the family trait. Well I thought this could be true, but I'm more interested in focusing on some other traits that I have inherited.
      So quite interestingly enough recently my mother shared a story with me about this young girl by the name of Eula with long black wavy hair who was stricken with pneumonia in the 1900s.  We all know during those times treatment was limited. So from this illness at her young age little Eula developed the condition known as Kyphosis.(an abnormal curvature of the spine, with a resultant bulge at the upper back) Basically she lived her young years into her adult years always looking at her two feet. As Eula got a little older a young man knocked on her door, and asked her Father for her hand in marriage. Her Father said young man, you see the condition of my child, if you really love her you come back to me in a year, only then may I honor your request.
      Twelve months later there was a knock on the door, the young man said, Now Sir! May I have your daughter as my wife? Eula and the young man married and went on to have 16 children losing two at birth. Imagine that!  Despite her condition he loved her! Despite all the women he passed in that 365 day period he came back for her! So who was this young man and woman by the name of Eula Temple? My Great Grandmother & Great Grandpa! My Great Grandmom & Grandpop gave the word Love a whole new meaning....Genetically I took that kind of LOVE. They birthed a woman by the name of Leola Young who was a woman that could have been in a burning house with all windows & doors locked, and still would have looked you in the face and said "I Believe God!" Genetically I got her FAITH... Her sister who I knew as my Aunt Sister. Everytime I saw her, even in her 80s she wore large hoop earrings with gold bangles...Genetically I got her STYLE...Leola Young birthed Brenda Young which is my mother, one who I know will stand right back up, after being pushed down, fight against opposition and maintain steadfastness...Genetically I got her PERSEVERANCE. My Father which I later learned after his death, had a way with words that made even the most profound poet re-read & ponder...Genetically I am a WRITER. The list goes on & on too many to name for just this blog, but enough said. The DNA was checked from whatever laboratory and Genetics showed +BRCA1. BUT! The fact of the matter is I say: Love+Faith+Style+Perseverance+a Writer ='s A BELIEVER! How? I've learned to be Christ Like so the Love in me no one can take away no matter what YOU do!  No matter what they say, she say, or he say nothing will deter my FAITH! Even with the possibility of losing my hair or breasts nothing will take away my STYLE! I will Fight to the end and determined to win, and I will always WRITE in this blog to let you also know that you CAN! Most will look at situations with such confusion, but God can allow you to see your situation in another perspective. There is nothing that can't be achieved with God on your side. Let him walk with you, and talk with you. I swear it will be the best conversation you will ever have! Remember don't look as me as the Girl with Breast Cancer but see me as The Girl who's A Believer!

She's A Believer!

Lord take Cover! I'm Going In!

Okay so tomorrow will be my last day at work for some time into the new year. Monday marks the day of a second surgery as I enter into preparation for what's ahead. I call it the unknown because it's all a mystery to me as to what I will go through over the next few months. However, I'm not afraid! I mean I hear what the Doctor's say I am likely to experience, but at the same time I do know what I have already experienced. Call me crazy but throughout this whole ordeal since August 5th I have enjoyed absolutely everyday of this faith walk with my Lord and Savior. For every story I have heard of death, God has given me a story of life even before closing my eyes in the midnight hour, letting that be the last thing heard so I am able to rest in the comfort of his promises. For every door that has closed, God said it's okay Nickia come this way, this one is open...God has blessed me with friends that I truly adore. Friends that are obedient to his word. Move when God says move, and pray when he says pray, and I'm so thankful for that. God has surrounded me with Family that loves me, and guess what they show it! I know what's ahead is scary to the average individual, but I know with everything in me that God will Keep me. God's word is enough for me, so I'm standing on his promises, and can't wait to come out on the other side of all this. I'm convinced God has something in store for me, and the Enemy has definitely peeped into my future and is trying everything he can to keep me from getting there, but Guess what? I'm on my way!!! So Lord Take Cover!! I'm Going In!!!

What Shall Take Your Praise Away?

 As strong as I appear, and as faithful as I am determined to be, I am still human. The human side of me falls apart at times, and cries aloud for the heavens to hear. And how many of you know that your cries do not fall upon deaf ears? I left my home today full of joy taking a 3mile walk, and during my walk I crossed the path of someone/something that placed upon me a heavy heart. So I left home with a smile and returned with tears flowing to no end. I began to scream out God what was the purpose of that? What was the reason behind that? God I was okay in my spirit, why did you have to allow that moment that only lasted 3seconds, last now for over an hour of sadness. It was in that moment that God said to me, What shall take your praise away? Is it something as simple as man, or woman, or that thing that can turn your praise that quickly into feeling powerless? I had no choice but to readjust my attitude towards it all, and remind myself how far God has brought me. God told me the purpose of it all was your test to see if you can now do what you failed at before. God said the reason behind it all was to see if you can be faced with which was once truth but KNOW the TRUTH. So now my tears turned back to tears of joy in knowing that God loves me that much to surround me in his presence and answer every concern. So know matter what may come up in life reminding you of some past hurt, or pain,  just know in order to reach that level pass the pain, or pass the hurt, you have to first face it head on, accept the healing, and LET NOTHING take your PRAISE AWAY!! When you've reached that point of smiling anyhow, loving anyhow, and can walk away telling God it can Occur again, and I will not be affected. Why? Because I now know even if I'm REMINDED & though I REMEMBER I don't have to RESUME a negative being. Because in order for me to REPRODUCE what God had in me all along I have to RETURN to what his word says (Jeremiah 29:11) For I know the plans I have for you.... Thank you Heavenly Father for reminding me what should matter, and what shouldn't, reminding me of who I am and whose I am! So What Shall Take My Praise Away? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING:)

Follow Me...

That's what Jesus said in Mark 2:14 Follow Me. There is no other direction I desire to go but in the direction of the Lord. Jesus speaks again in verse 17 and says, I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance. My ultimate goal is that when I write in this blog that it reaches a multitude of people young and old, but especially those who don't know the love of Christ.

I pray that we as a people don't get caught up with having a Christianity religion, but a true relationship with Christ. It should not take for the earth to tremble, homes to sink, or the increase numbers of homicide to draw you into the presence of God. Don't you already want to be caught up in his love, his goodness, mercy, and protection? Jesus said I'll build the bridge over troubled waters, I'll keep your mind in perfect peace if you keep your hearts stayed on him. So when you feel led astray, confused, doubtful, hopeless, Hey! Yes You! He says Follow Me!

Let him teach you how to walk with him......Smile it's a New Day!

Hold ON!!

Jeremiah 30:17 "For I will restore health unto you, and I will heal you of your wounds, saith the Lord." You have to know that you know that you know, for all my  church goers, how many times have you heard the Pastor say that? So Believe it! If his word says it, take it not, as just words in a book...God's words does what it says IF you BELIEVE.

I was praying one day and my prayer unto God was simply "Okay God, all this has taken place in my life but is it okay to ask that this does not visit me again?" But even praying that prayer, in my spirit I felt like well Kia who are you to ask of that this is life, things happen. So I concluded my prayer with that lingering thought on my heart. How many of you know that God may not come when you want him, but he's always on time? How many of you know that when you ask of something from the Lord you may not get your answer right away, but he forgets not your questions? So on today God answered me with this scripture:

Nahum 1:7 "The LORD is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; and He knows those who trust in Him.... He will make an utter end of it. Affliction will not rise up a second time. 

I sat here with tears flowing from my face because God is so specific and Clear when he answers you, he is not a God of Confusion. I Trust God with all that I have within me, and I know his word to be true so I'm okay now knowing I don't have to worry about a second time of what the world knows as Cancer because I'm standing on God's Promise! He will make an utter end of it(to the utmost point;highest degree) Affliction WILL NOT rise up a second time! 

Tell me God isn't Awesome! Pink but with a Purpose! Smile it's a New Day!

I will Guide thee with mine eye...

This morning's scripture was Psalm 32 and in verse 8 that piece alone was sooo comforting. It was in line with the feelings I woke up with this morning. I need God to be my eyes, I need him to instruct me in the way which I should go...I can't do a thing on my own, and the truth of the matter neither can you. Look towards the hills which cometh your help...be of good courage and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the Lord!

A Loving Husband in the Storm...

It is so important to seek God in all that you do with every decision, and every move you may make. In all honesty at a time I wanted to walk away, but each time I would seek God first, and the voice of the Lord told me to be still....Because of obedience I learned to really understand what it means to love through difficult times, to still cook when you don't want to, or even still say I love you, when I really don't like you, lol! But in all seriousness today I need my husband like I never thought I would. During this storm in our life he has assured me that the battle is the both of ours, but the vision is already foreseen. His hands interlocks with mines carrying me through this time of contemplating decisions helping me to understand that we connect for a reason. His love is in his eyes when he looks at me, he's two steps ahead of me to every appointment, and the one that has made me okay today for tomorrow's unknown. I Thank God for my husband, because he sent someone in my life that has chose to love me anyhow, through the ups and downs we both decided to love anyhow, and alot average folk I know will love from a distance. But we don't have a distant kind of love, we got a up close, and personal kinda thing and I'm grateful! Take time out for a moment today, and tell him or her "you know what, I really love you:) :)

Just a small thing to a Giant...

Just a small thing to a Giant, that's what I was told softly by a friend today as I sat here in my living room. Some words spoken can touch you so deeply and take on an effect almost like an analgesic for a nagging headache. Soft spoken words can get the job done. Is it ever coincidental when one comes near with just the right words at the right appointed time? Jesus knows our hearts and what we thinketh before we think it. So you have to know the Lord cares enough to send whomever, whenever with words of encouragement, strength, and hope to assure you of his goodness.  You never know what a person may be going through.  I sit here this evening with two scars across my left breast that only reminds me of the scars that Christ has already bared for me. I want to take the time even in my pain to pray for someone who may be experiencing the same, or something quite different. I Pray for her, the little one who covers her ears daily due to the sounds of profanity, and the permanent scars that are meant to destroy her even in her womanhood. So I Pray for her, the woman who sits in the corner of the window with tears that meet the rain shed on the windowpane, as she remembers her childhood, regretting her past, and feels she lost way to her sense of hope for her future. I pray for him the little one who has no known male figure in his life. No one to tell him what's wrong and what's right molding him to be the God fearing man that can create change in circumstances. I Pray for him, the man who has diligently tried to be the head of his household, but the constant attacks of being let down, and turned away, keeps him from being the man he needs to be. I Pray for a Peace that passes all understanding. I Pray that every door that has closed new ones have already open. I Pray for healing of the minds, heart, and sickness. I Pray that all who doesn't know,  began to desire, crave, and ache for the love of God to show them the way of true redemption. Amen...It's just a small thing to a Giant..ummmmmm

I don't mind being in the background, how about you?

I Pray for You..You Pray for Me..That's what it's all about!

When the season Change..

Some have heard of my poem entitled "When the season Change" and some have not but when learning of my diagnosis quite naturally I added this piece to it!


 When the season change so does she
 and it's that time of year when those
words came across that she never wanted
to hear. Hello Dr. Summers how are you?
I'm okay but I have some bad news
I know you wanted to hear it's benign and
you'll be fine, but i'm sorry it's malignant but don't
worry we'll win this. I won't ask why me,
but God can this be? Is this what you meant when
you said it is my duty, So carry the cross?
But comfort from you told me my child there
will be no loss I cried out but Father how do
I know I'll be fine, what if the Doctor is lying
I'm far too young to be dying, please Lord
send me a sign and, your voice said simply
I never said I sent YOU to the front line friend.

My Purpose

I am here sharing to the world of my diagnosis of breast cancer because I feel the need to uplift, inspire, and encourage others. It's easy to say you can do this! Or you'll be okay, when you haven't walked that journey. So like I said I'm Pink with a Purpose! I'm living this thing, breathing this thing, and will beat this thing, and you can too! I pray that all that I have gone through, and whatever it is ahead of me to tackle, will help instill the kind of faith in you to keep you pushing, pressing, and believing! I walk by faith and not by sight. God is in the lead, and I don't mind. From the very first moment of learning of this diagnosis I never questioned why, or felt defeated. Something stirred up in me rather quickly instead. I thought of a book, so I started the first chapter so far. I thought of a stage play so I wrote one so far. I thought of various ways to hold events that I can raise money and donate to the many foundations supporting cancer. So if I'm talking to someone personally that may be going through this, or maybe even someone that may be struggling with other issues, just know that my God has no respect of person, he doesn't just love me he loves you too! If he did it for me he can do it for you! Don't just read that but believe it wholeheartedly, that is thee only way mountains began to move. Don't trust in me, but always trust in him. He won't fail you:) Many Blessings People, keep smiling:)

God Is So I Am: Transfer your Worry List to your Prayer List!

God Is So I Am: Transfer your Worry List to your Prayer List!: Okay what a day I had on Tuesday 8/23/11...It all started while being at my med cart preparing meds for a patient when two nurses at the nur...

God Is So I Am: If God is for Me Who Shall Be Against Me?

God Is So I Am: If God is for Me Who Shall Be Against Me?: Malachi 4:2 But for you who fear my name, the sun of righteousness shall rise with healing in its wings. So Tomorrow is the big day, the d...

If God is for Me Who Shall Be Against Me?

Malachi 4:2 But for you who fear my name, the sun of righteousness shall rise with healing in its wings. So Tomorrow is the big day, the day I enter on a stretcher, and put under anesthesia for the Surgeon to find what the real deal is with this tumor that has developed. Am I afraid? Of course not, if my God is for me who or what shall be against me? I don't mind standing in the backround and allowing God to take the lead. For this day that has not appeared has already. My only job is to keep the kind of peace that passes all understanding, and trust that he has me in the palms of his hands. For this I know, and for this I pray all of you that reads this know. There is nothing too hard, big, or small for the Lord, and he can do all but FAIL...You may have heard those lines time and time again, so isn't it time to start believing it? I'm Pink but with a Purpose, Be Blessed all, and keep smiling:) :) :)

Transfer your Worry List to your Prayer List!

Okay what a day I had on Tuesday 8/23/11...It all started while being at my med cart preparing meds for a patient when two nurses at the nurses station within two feet from me started talking. Okay I know this is common, this is what people do right? Right! It just so happens though the conversation was about young women dying of breast cancer...hummmm. The stories continue each with an ending of death..This must be some sort of cruel joke, it's no way this is happening I thought. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs letting them know HEY I HAVE BREAST CANCER BUT GUESS WHAT I'M GOING TO LIVE!!!! The internal part of me spoke, so I quickly felt relieved and went in my patient's room, and thought to myself well God that must had to happen for material for my book:) I was all smiles from that point on.

Let's back track a little I was told on Monday that my insurance won't cover my genetic testing which determines what type of surgery i'm due to have in a matter of a week, and by the way it won't cover your surgery either unless you pay 5,000 first. Oh my, my, my...I began to think of all the things I could do, so I called my insurance carrier. Hello how are you? Just want to know if it's possible to upgrade my plan? I'm sorry but you can't you have what we call a pre-existing condition. Okay next! I call another insurance carrier that insures those with pre-existing conditions, but as I reviewed the policies I find that the monthly rate is close to the cost of my mortgage payments. Oh wow.....Certainly I must do something so I don't care, I just have to pay it right? Wrong, God says I know of your needs before you, so you better believe he had my back up plan already in place little did I know.
So moving forward again, I sat in my car enjoying my lunch when all of a sudden my car rocked back and forth. I was convinced someone was hiding behind my trunk rocking me, certainly the wind was not that forceful on this cool 85 degrees day. While returning back at the nurses station I learned we experienced an earthquake. What!!! In the city of Philadelphia!!! Later that evening I began to read my word and this is what it read: Psalms 18:6
In my distress I called upon the Lord, and cried unto my God:he heard my voice out of his temple, and my cry came before him, even unto his ears. Then the EARTH SHOOK and TREMBLED; the foundations also of the hills MOVED and were SHAKEN.

I don't have to spell it out for you, only simply tell you God serves as a reminder I don't care who tells you NO! Or what doors is slammed in your face! If God says BE...IT IS! My God cause the earth to shake to let me know there is nothing he can't do...Just to let you know I got a call that same day from the Hospital letting me know to come in the next morning to fill out paperwork for what they call back up coverage..What!!! I don't have to spell it out for you, or do I? GOD IS SO I AM!!!! I AM PINK WITH A PURPOSE...BE BLESSED MY PEOPLE:) :) KEEP SMILING!